::: Alive :::

It doesn't have to be good it doesn't have to be awful theres more to it than that keep looking and you will find the key to an open heart. ER 2023

::: Almost gone :::

So a few years have passed since i wrote here for the first time. This is my oasis, i always return for more. Today is a special day, i almost die. not my fault just a jerk almost killed me this morning with his insane driving, my body is okay but my mind cannot say the same. Still shaking remembering that moment. happened so fast i burst into tears, tears of fear. So far so good. im still breathing. good night.

:: Voices ::

Are these voices inside my head real? i can hear it loud and clear. I listen carefully, wait and learn. things a cannot repeat. only inside my mind they make sense, to others is just weird. im one with the voive inside of me and always be.

:: 30, funny number :::

When i was 20 i thought my life was shitty, useless, pointless and hopeless, now im 30 and i still think the same way. Everything moves so fast i can only sit and watch. i just realised im becoming a bittersweet old lady.

:: There´s a lot more misery outside than inside my mind. ::

When I stepped out of my head I saw pieces of a broken world surrounding me
Walls of loneliness, painted with little kids tears, decorated with
pain and death. Masks made of deception, garments of sorrow screaming hate
Air so thick I couldn't breathe, never felt so helpless and empty.
I tried to close my eyes and maybe come back to my own mental suffering
I tried to separate myself from that devastated world by creating a worst reality inside my mind, my special place where I can be completely alone,
for many years I have tried and failed.

E.R.
2012

::: Strange little boy :::

I saw you last night, looking lonely and sad,
talking to the stars but they didn't answer you back
there you stood peacefully, waiting for something that never happened
like those strange thoughts you don't share
those long walks you do by yourself in the middle of nowhere
But I´m here only to watch over you
just wondering if I could be your extra pair of ears
if I could find a way to take you far away from here
if only I could reach where you are
if only I could see you again outside my dreams.

E.R.
2012

::: El regreso :::

He vuelto, después de tanto tiempo para rescatar mi rincón preciado. Este lugar oscuro y privado, algo parecido a lo que seria mi hogar ideal.

Año 2012,año de renovaciones, cambios, fuerza, vida, esperanza, sueños.

Sigue corriendo la tinta en mi papel, las ideas siguen fluyendo, las experiencias no me abandonan, aun tengo algo de aquella capacidad de sorprenderme. Este mundo es sorprendentemente finito, como mi vida, como mi alma, la que no espera un mas allá, porque tiene demasiado en el mas acá.

E.R.

:: Pensamientos al viento :::

Aun no he tenido la dicha pero tal vez pueda imaginar
lo que se debe sentir al momento de esperar
esperar que alguien a tu vida llegue y la cambie completamente
que con una simple sonrisa de alegrias tus dias llene
que en tus ojos se refleje lo dulce de su voz
y en tus oidos nunca se escuche lo amargo de un adios.

Aun no es mi tiempo de saber, de sentir, de esperar, de abrazar
pero algo me dice que algun dia me tocará
sin pedirlo, sin soñarlo, sin apresurarlo
y la tormenta me abrazará y otro par de brazos necesitaré para juntos esperar
la llegada de un nuevo ser sin rostro, sin forma, sin nombre, sin tiempo
que se encargará de transformarnos en seres superiores.

E.R.2010

down

down, i just feel down. i feel sick. so depressed and lonely.i wish i was dead.